


A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

by VTsuion



Series: Between the Voyages [4]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Developing Relationship, Episode Related, Episode: s01e13 The Galileo Seven, Episode: s01e15-16 The Menagerie, Episode: s01e25 This Side of Paradise, Episode: s01e28 The City on the Edge of Forever, Episode: s02e02 Metamorphosis, Episode: s02e05 Amok Time, Episode: s02e09 The Apple, Episode: s02e12 The Deadly Years, Episode: s02e15 Journey to Babel, Episode: s02e16 A Private Little War, Episode: s02e17 The Gamesters of Triskelion, Episode: s02e19 The Immunity Syndrome, Episode: s02e20 A Piece of the Action, Episode: s02e21 Patterns of Force, Episode: s02e22 Return to Tomorrow, Episode: s02e24 The Omega Glory, Episode: s02e25 Bread and Circuses, Episode: s03e03 Paradise Syndrome, Episode: s03e04 The Enterprise Incident, Episode: s03e05 Is There in Truth No Beauty?, Episode: s03e06 Spock's Brain, Episode: s03e07 Day of the Dove, Episode: s03e09 The Tholian Web, Episode: s03e12 Plato's Stepchildren, Episode: s03e16 Whom Gods Destroy, Episode: s03e21 Requiem For Methuselah, Falling In Love, Flirting, Hurt/Comfort, Literal Sleeping Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Massage, Telepathy, Vulcan Kisses, Vulcan Mind Melds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-01-05 21:02:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18374039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VTsuion/pseuds/VTsuion
Summary: The development of Kirk and Spock's relationship over the course of The Original Series, told in a series of off-screen moments.





	1. From the Start

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LSPINGLES](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LSPINGLES/gifts).



> I recently rewatched The Original Series and my thoughts turned into this series of short episode responses. As I wrote, the individual scenes came together into a broader narrative that ties together all of the individual episodes into an arc that tracks the development of Kirk and Spock's relationship and Spock's character.
> 
> This is supposed to be approximately in continuity with a few fics I wrote in the beginning of my rewatch and posted before I knew I would be writing enough for a whole series. "A Hidden Personal Thing" and "Not Chess, Mr. Spock, Poker" occur before the beginning of the first chapter, and "Dig in There, Mr. Spock" takes place between the second and third scenes of the first chapter of this fic.
> 
> I assume the episodes occur in order of air date, even though they're tagged on Archive according to production order.

“Frustrated, Mr. Spock?” Captain Kirk asked as he took Spock’s queen. His eyes shone with mischief and his voice had a very human lilt.

Teasing was what the humans would have called it, but Spock could see an uncharacteristic smugness in the captain’s smile, as though he had caught Spock doing something he wasn’t supposed to. For all the humanness of the gesture, the only thing Spock could think of were the sharp eyes of the Vulcans, appraising him, searching for any sign of human emotion. He could hear the implied accusation: “Your behavior is illogical.”

He straightened his posture, his lips pressed into a thin line. His eyebrows rose in disbelief. There was only one way to respond, “As a Vulcan, I am incapable of feeling such emotions.”

He did not expect the captain to grin, to smile at him as though inviting him to share in a private joke. He did not expect the captain to rescind his accusation without a second thought, “Of course, Mr. Spock. I must have been mistaken.” His intense gaze showed only amusement and appreciation.

Spock quirked an eyebrow at him and the game went on.

“Check,” Spock declared some turns later, bringing his rook forward.

“A very logical move,” the captain remarked. He glanced up from the board to give Spock an open smile.

The gesture was, with high probability, a deliberate one. It was a human practice to apologize for a perceived slight with a compliment, however Spock detected no dishonesty in the captain's words - to say such a thing without meaning it would have gone against his character.

So, Spock replied, “Why, thank you, Captain.”

The captain turned back to the three-tiered chess board with a wry smile. “You may not be capable of feeling frustration, Mr. Spock, but you make one frustrating opponent.”

* * *

To his surprise, even after forcibly taking command of the USS  _ Enterprise _ and steering it to the forbidden planet, Talos IV, Spock was not sentenced to death. He was not court martialed or even relieved of his post. Fortunately, Captain Kirk also evaded punishment for actions that were not his own.

However, Spock had violated Starfleet regulation, disobeyed his captain, and endangered the crew. Therefore, as was his duty, he reported to the captain’s quarters to resign.

To his surprise, Captain Kirk shook his head. “After all that, I’m not losing my first officer,” he said with half a smile.

“But sir,” Spock began to protest.

“I do not accept your resignation,” Kirk said sharply. His tone brooked no argument.

Only then did Spock relent, still astounded that the captain trusted him after all Spock had done to betray him. But if those were the captain’s orders, he would not disobey them. Spock gave a sharp nod. “Thank you, sir,” he said, and was about to turn to leave.

Suddenly, Captain Kirk asked, his voice quiet and measured, “What was it like serving under Captain Pike?”

Spock looked the captain firmly in the eyes and answered, “He was efficient and very professional.”

Kirk smiled at that with a twinkle in his eyes. He was a very efficient captain, but upon reflection, Spock conceded that he would not call Captain Kirk’s demeanor professional; friendly was more accurate.

Spock continued, “He expected those of us under him to do our duty effectively and did not interfere unless something was amiss.”

“Did you spend much time with him?” Kirk asked almost casually, but he was clearly getting at something.

Spock gave a slight shake of his head. “I only encountered him in the course of duty and we only spoke when it was essential to our work. Despite his emotions, his approach to captaincy was very similar to what would be expected of a Vulcan.”

Kirk nodded in thought. He met Spock’s eyes and said seriously, “It was a very kind thing you did for Captain Pike, but don’t pull anything like that again, not for me or anyone - that’s an order. Understood?”

“My apologies, sir,” Spock said, “But I cannot obey that order. It is my duty to ensure the safety of my superior officer.”

Kirk frowned and let out a sigh. “I was afraid you’d say that.”

“Sir?” Spock asked, an eyebrow raised.

The captain just shook his head.

 

* * *

“I believe I have underestimated the difficulties of command,” Spock remarked as he advanced his rook.

Spock was sitting across the desk from Captain Kirk in the captain’s quarters, a three-tiered chess board between them.

Jim, as he preferred to be called when they were off duty, grinned at Spock and moved one of his pawns. “You’re not rushing to take over then?” Jim teased.

“I would be unqualified and unprepared,” Spock answered firmly.

Jim’s smile softened. “Bones told me what happened down there.”

Spock refused to look away even as he awaited the well-deserved reproach.

“He said you rubbed the crew the wrong way, but when it came down to it, they wouldn’t have gotten off that planet alive if not for you.” He was looking at Spock with kind, almost wide eyes, like he had done something incredible.

“Two men died because of my decisions,” Spock said.

Jim leaned back in his chair, the game of chess momentarily forgotten. His smile turned rueful. “I wish I could just say it was  _ despite _ your decisions and that would settle it, but I know it’s never that simple. It never feels that simple.”

He sighed and looked away from Spock, no longer able to hold his sharp gaze. “It’s my fault as much as yours; for getting you stranded, for the deaths of those two officers who I sent down with you on the shuttle and the man I sent down to search for you. And for all that, it could have easily been much worse. I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost you - and Bones and Scotty too.”

“You performed according to your duty,” Spock insisted, trying to meet the captain’s eyes.

Jim just shook his head. “Maybe the Commissioner was right. I shouldn’t have sent you out on such a dangerous mission when we didn’t have enough time-”

“You did not know that the malfunctions would occur,” Spock interrupted.

“What would you have done?” Jim asked with a small smile. Against all reason, he appeared to be open to Spock’s suggestions.

“I am hardly qualified,” Spock protested.

“Humor me,” Jim said. “It’s your duty to advise the captain, after all.”

“I cannot know because I am not currently in such a position and do not know all of the constraints.” Jim made to interrupt, but Spock continued, “I doubt I would have disputed the judgement of a Vulcan commissioner. A Vulcan would have accurately weighed the risks and benefits and acted accordingly. It is unlikely I would have found logical fault with their decision. As Commissioner Ferris is human, however, he makes human mistakes.”

“Vulcans make mistakes too,” Jim cut in, but he appeared to be amused rather than insulted.

“Certainly, however I am more likely to make the same logical mistakes as Vulcan rather than illogical human ones. Despite Commissioner Ferris’s urgency, when we encountered the quasar-like formation, we were three days away from Makus III and the rendezvous would occur in five days no matter when we arrived. Exploration is the purpose of our mission and we are under acting orders to investigate all quasar-like formations. These orders do not indicate that we must do so immediately, but as the opportunity presented itself to us, it would be most efficient to do so before we received additional orders. The initial risk estimates were low, so I believe I would have made the same mistake.”

“However,” Spock remarked as an afterthought, “I may not have sent two of my most senior officers and my chief medical officer on the same mission. I understand the purpose of sending myself and Chief Engineer Scott, however I do not understand why you sent Dr. McCoy on a mission to investigate a phenomenon so far removed from his area of expertise.”

Jim grinned a little sheepishly. “I thought he might be able to provide some support.”

Spock quirked an eyebrow at him. “I found his presence to be counterproductive.”

“Another miscalculation on my part,” Jim acknowledged.

Spock gave him a sharp nod. “I am unable to comprehend the regard you hold for the doctor.”

Jim seemed to consider it for a moment, watching Spock with half a smile as though what he saw would have some influence on the answer. Finally, he said, “As captain, it’s important to hear a wide range of perspectives. I don’t have to listen to all of them, but his emotions are as valuable as your logic. For one, he gives me a good idea of what the rest of the crew is thinking and he has a strong sense of right and wrong, whether you agree with it or not.”

Spock’s eyes narrowed as he thought over the suggestion. “That is a logical approach, however I would be disinclined to assign much weight to Dr. McCoy’s opinions on how to command a starship.”

“I know,” Jim said. “Maybe one day you’ll understand where he’s coming from.”

Spock’s eyebrows rose in disbelief.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first scene is intended as a prequel to several moments early in The Original Series where Kirk teases Spock about having emotions, to explain why Spock is seemingly okay with it.  
> The second scene is a direct aftermath to The Menagerie, and the third is after The Galileo Seven.


	2. Changing Tides

James Kirk fell in love easily. It had always been that way. He would flirt with anyone who flirted back, and it had earned him a bit of a reputation, but the truth was that he had never settled down not because he preferred to play the field, but because there was always something more important. He truly loved all the people who he fell for, but he always loved his work and eventually his ship more.

But as he stood there, alone on the bridge, abandoned in favor of a false paradise, all he could think was that he needed Spock back. He already knew he loved his first officer as much as any lady, and he could tell that Spock returned his feelings even though he couldn’t admit it, but they both knew the  _ Enterprise _ and their mission came first.

Later, Kirk sat back on the bridge, which had been repaired from his drugged crew’s sabotage and was bustling with activity. He watched his first officer work as they warped through space, and he wondered - knowing in the back of his mind that it was really an answer, not a question - if maybe his feelings for Spock had grown into something more. His first officer was already indispensable. Spock would probably have left it at that; it was only logical to do what was best for the  _ Enterprise _ , after all.

But for the first time, he began to suspect that he would do more than was “logical” to ensure Spock’s survival. He only hoped he never ended up in a situation where he had to choose between his first officer and the  _ Enterprise _ , because wasn’t so sure which he would choose.

Jim wasn’t the only one who had gotten a bit of a jolt from recent events on Omicron Ceti III. Spock had been even more withdrawn than usual and Jim couldn’t say he was surprised. For the first time in his life, Spock had come face to face with love and belonging, even if it was just an illusion, only to have it all torn away - by a tirade of insults from his trusted captain, no less. No wonder he declined Jim’s offers to play chess in favor of meditating.

It was a quiet part of their journey. Stars flew past on the viewscreen as they traveled through the vast emptiness of space. The captain was free to watch his first officer, standing bent over the science station as he had been since their shift began hours ago. Any human’s back would have gotten stiff, but Jim had experienced first hand that Vulcans were made of stronger stuff.

Jim, on the other hand,  _ was _ getting stiff. He stretched in his seat. Most of the other officers were probably as bored as he was; he could hear them talking quietly among themselves to pass the time. Finally, he got up, out of the captain’s chair, and ambled over to Spock. He leaned against the wall, angled so he could see Spock’s face looking into the view scope.

“I don’t think you’ve moved since I stepped onto the bridge,” Jim remarked casually.

Immediately, Spock snapped to attention, his hands clasped behind his back. “Captain.”

“What’s got you so fascinated in there?” Jim asked with a soft, teasing smile.

“Nothing,” Spock reported promptly. His eyebrows rose in a familiar expression. “I am merely monitoring the ship’s surroundings in accordance with my duties.”

Jim grinned. “I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who’s bored.”

Spock’s eyebrows rose again. “I am not capable of experiencing boredom.”

“Of course not,” Jim replied. “I was just thinking it might be more interesting for the both of us to go over your latest results instead of standing around on the bridge waiting for the next crisis.”

“Certainly, Captain,” Spock said. The corners of his lips turned ever so slightly upward.

 

When their shift was over and their discussion of Spock’s latest readings had wound down, Jim casually asked, “Could I have a word, in my quarters if you don’t mind?”

Spock quirked an eyebrow at him in something like confusion, but obliged with a sharp nod nonetheless.

When the door to the captain’s quarters slid closed behind them, Jim turned to his first officer. Spock had made no move to venture further into the room. Instead he stood at attention, his hands clasped behind his back.

“I owe you a long overdue apology, Mr. Spock,” Jim said at last, “For everything I said.”

Before Jim could continue, Spock said, “It is not necessary. Your actions were purely logical. You had no other way to ensure the wellbeing of your crew and the completion of your mission, and you did so at the risk of your own life. Had I not recovered when I did-” Spock hesitated to finish the sentence.

“Even so” - Jim stepped forward and put a hand on Spock’s shoulder - “I want to be absolutely clear that I didn’t mean any of the things I said. Getting you angry was the only way I knew how to release you from those spores, and I couldn’t save everyone else without you.”

He looked Spock firmly in the eye. Jim almost wished Spock would read his mind with those Vulcan powers of his so that Jim could impress it upon him.

Instead, Jim settled with saying, “You’re the best first officer in the fleet, and there’s no one else I would rather have serving by my side.”

“I am honored, Captain” - Spock hesitated - “Jim.”

* * *

_ “Where would you estimate we belong, Miss Keeler?” _

_ “You? At his side, as if you've always been there and always will.” _

 

Spock turned the late Edith Keeler’s words over in his head. Human language was a peculiar thing, imprecise and full of double meanings. He had intended to ask one question and she had answered another. He had meant “belong” in a superficial sense, but she replied with something much more profound, much more human.

And then there was the answer she had given. She had accurately identified that the captain did not belong on Earth, even though he was born there. It should have been even more obvious that Spock did not belong on her world. In truth, as a hybrid between human and Vulcan, Spock belonged nowhere. The only belonging he had ever experienced was an illusion induced by alien spores. And yet, that was not what she had said. She suggested that he did belong, at the captain’s side.

It was a fascinating notion. If Spock did belong anywhere, that would be it - she was a most perceptive woman. And if Spock belonged at the captain’s side, then there was no question of what he should do under the circumstances.

As soon as his shift ended, Spock departed from the bridge and went directly to the captain’s quarters. The door slid open to let him inside.

“Spock,” the captain croaked in surprise from his desk. He hastily turned off the computer screen he had been staring at as Spock entered - Spock had a hypothesis as to what the captain had been researching. The captain made to stand and demanded, “Has something happened?”

Spock shook his head.

The captain fell back into his seat. “Then what is it?”

He looked tired and worn. His usually bright eyes were clouded and shadowed with dark bags. His face was lined with emotion. His lips betrayed no trace of a smile.

Spock stepped toward the captain. “Jim” - he hesitated - “If there is anything which you require...” He left the question open.

Jim attempted a smile, but it did not reach his sad eyes. “I appreciate the offer, Mr. Spock.” At least the familiar warmth had not left his steady gaze.

Jim looked away and continued, “And thank you for everything you did down there. It’s really all thanks to you that we got out of there and fixed everything while I just fooled around.”

Spock took another step closer to the captain. “I would not have been able to complete the circuit without your assistance,” he replied firmly. “You provided me with supplies and a place to work, and had you not believed I would be capable of performing such a feat, I may not have even attempted it.”

Finally, Jim looked up and met Spock’s gaze once more. He attempted another smile, but it did not last long.

Spock, however, found himself emboldened by the gesture and the affection that still managed to shine through the captain’s sorrow. With some hesitation Spock said, “I cannot change what occurred, but it may be possible for me to alleviate some of the pain.” He held out one of his hands by way of explanation.

There was a moment’s delay before Jim’s eyes widened in realization. “Spock, I-” he began without knowing what he wanted to say and faltered. He tried again, “You don’t have to, not for my sake. It was my own fault, getting too involved when you tried to warn me. You shouldn’t suffer the consequences of my foolishness.”

“Your wellbeing is my concern,” Spock insisted. “My mind is sufficiently organized that I can assure you that I will not suffer the emotional consequences. I can alleviate some of the pain, but only if you would like for me to do so.”

Jim hesitated, his arms crossed over his chest. Finally, he said, “As much as I feel like I should wallow forever, it certainly won’t make up for what happened, and you’re right, my duty is to this ship and her crew. So, Mr. Spock, work your magic.”

“You are certain, Captain? I do not mean to intrude on your mind against your wishes,” Spock said.

Jim gave him half a smile. “I don’t mind having you in my mind. You have my permission if you still want to try.”

Spock nodded and extended his hand toward Jim’s face. He hesitated when his fingers were just centimeters away. He opened his mouth to speak, but Jim spoke first.

“Go ahead,” Jim said, almost like he was giving just another order on the bridge.

Without another word, Spock closed the distance and pressed the pads of his fingers to Jim’s face. As he came into contact with the cool human skin he felt a burst of emotion. His eyes watered with the intensity of it, even though he had been expecting it to some extent. There was guilt and self-loathing and a yawning chasm of loss.

Spock forced his voice even as he recited, “You begin to feel a strange euphoria. Your body floats.”

The words were almost unnecessary. He could feel Jim’s mind reaching for his, searching for it even without any psychic ability of his own.

Still, Spock recited, almost in an attempt to keep a reign on their minds as they threatened to crash together into one, “Open your mind. We move together. Our minds sharing the same thoughts.”

Slowly, Spock lowered his mental presence into the chasm of loss in Jim’s mind, attempted to fill the painful crevices as best as he could with calm reason.  _ What is, is _ .  _ There is nothing that can be done about the past. We can only influence the future. You have acted logically. _

Jim’s mind conformed to his easily, beckoning Spock’s presence deeper and deeper inside, but it resisted his philosophy. Instead of the logical calm Spock intended to induce, Jim answered with human warmth and affection that wrapped itself around Spock’s mind and almost seeped through his barriers.

As Spock drew away his hand, he saw Jim looking back at him with a soft smile.

“Thank you, Mr. Spock,” Jim said.

“It is most gratifying that your condition has improved,” Spock replied, “However I cannot claim the credit. It appears your mind recovered itself - a capability of human emotion of which I was entirely unaware.”

Jim’s smile widened a little. “I couldn’t have done it alone.”

“Fascinating,” Spock remarked. “You mean to say that your mind translated my Vulcan philosophy into its native human emotion?”

“Something like that,” Jim said. He put a hand on Spock’s shoulder. There were still traces of pain in Jim’s eyes and his smile faltered, but there was no doubt that he would make a full recovery.

* * *

Once their shift was over, Spock traced the familiar route to the captain’s quarters. He tried to convince himself that his discomfort was a lingering effect of the blood fever, but after everything that occurred, he could not be certain. He pressed the button outside the door and heard the corresponding whistle inside, alerting the captain to his presence. The door slid open and Spock found Captain Kirk standing only a few feet away, ready to meet him.

The captain’s face broke into an eager smile at the sight of his first officer. “I thought you might drop by,” he remarked as he waved Spock into his quarters.

Spock stepped inside, but remained at attention, his hands clasped behind his back. “The neuroparalyzer Dr. McCoy gave you had no adverse effects?”

“I’m a little sore, but Bones assures me it’ll pass,” Jim replied with a grin. His expression turned serious and his gaze suddenly turned intense as he asked, “Are you alright?” He put a hand on Spock’s shoulder for good measure.

“The fever has passed,” Spock said. “However, it does not excuse my actions. I should not have brought you down to Vulcan with me. I knew the danger and disregarded it, and you very nearly paid the price.” He met the captain’s eyes in an attempt to impress upon him the seriousness of his words.

Jim seemed to search Spock’s gaze. Finally, he gave Spock a small smile and said, “It was rash of me to accept T’Pring’s challenge without knowing what I was getting into, but it’s a good thing I did.” His expression turned serious again. “Stonn could have killed you in that state.”

“ _ I _ could have killed  _ you _ .” Spock warred with his voice to keep it level. “Had Dr. McCoy not thought to treat you with a neuroparalyzer, I would have killed you.” He fell quiet.

Jim reached out with his other hand, so that he was holding both Spock’s shoulders, and cracked a wry smile. “Then it’s a good thing Bones did think of it.” His eyes narrowed, the full intensity of his gaze on Spock. “I diverted to Vulcan to save your life, and I wasn’t going to leave without you. I need you to run this ship.”

“I could not have run it alone,” Spock protested. “Your life is more important.”

The captain shook his head. “I can be replaced. One day you’ll make a great captain.”

“I have no desire for the captaincy,” Spock insisted. “I cannot lead Vulcans or humans.”

“I can’t speak for Vulcans, but you’re doing pretty well with the humans on this ship,” the captain answered with a grin.

“I will not permit you to die under any circumstances,” Spock cut to the point.

Jim’s smile softened. “The same goes for you,” he said, his voice was light, but with a serious edge.

“Very well,” Spock acknowledged with some reluctance. “I will endeavor to keep us both alive.”

“Good.” Jim gave him his brightest grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was rewatching The Original Series, I was startled by how distant Kirk and Spock seemed at first. The Devil in the Dark was the first time it was obvious that they particularly cared for each other more than any other member of the crew. I didn't end up writing anything based on it - the episode didn't seem to need any additional scenes - but it played a significant part in shaping this chapter.  
> The first scene is set during and after This Side of Paradise, which was not long before The Devil in the Dark, and is intended in part to give some insight into how they start to care about each other specifically. The second scene is an aftermath to The City on the Edge of Forever, which was shortly after The Devil in the Dark, and the last scene is immediately after Amok Time.


	3. A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Spock first noticed it on Gamma Trianguli VI, in the way Dr. McCoy looked at him when the captain was in distress as though it was Spock’s responsibility to comfort him, even though they both very well knew emotions were not within his area of expertise. It was Spock’s duty, however, to support the captain in any way necessary, and so he performed his duty to the best of his ability.

Spock did not miss the conspiratorial look Ensign Chekov shared with Yeoman Landon when the captain helped him to his feet. Clearly, the ensign observed something, but what he did not say; he simply expected the Yeoman to understand.

It was around that time that Captain Kirk began ordering Spock to join him on nearly every away mission. Spock did not object, of course; it was his duty to do as the captain said, and this made it much easier for him to ensure the captain’s safety - and there was often danger. Still, it was unusual, he eventually concluded, for a captain to insist on keeping his first officer always by his side.

Spock was unable to gather much more data until he, the captain, and Dr. McCoy were on a shuttlecraft, returning to the  _ Enterprise _ from their unintended detour to a peculiar planetoid, where they had found the famed inventor of the warp drive, Zephram Cochrane, and his mysterious alien companion.

“Mr. Cochrane is a lucky man,” the captain remarked, leaning back in his chair on the shuttlecraft. He was watching Spock with a peculiar, almost knowing smile.

Spock quirked an eyebrow at him. Being stranded on a planetoid and held hostage by an alien entity did not seem to be a particularly fortunate fate, though the creature Mr. Cochrane called his companion was fascinating.

The captain’s smile grew even wider. “There isn’t a man on Earth who’s lucky enough to have a love like that. To be engulfed, physically and mentally, in love. No fumbling with words, just pure thought. It’s almost a shame she took on a human form, though I doubt Mr. Cochrane would agree with me.”

Spock cocked his head to one side, nearly certain he was mishearing something. “You mean to say that you are in love with the companion, captain?”

Dr. McCoy snorted in barely contained laughter from behind them.

The captain shot a glance back at the doctor and returned his intense gaze to Mr. Spock. “No, not quite,” he said. He wasn’t biting back laughter, but amusement seemed to radiate off of him. “I was just thinking it’d be nice to have a love like that.”

Both of Spock’s eyebrows rose in astonishment at the captain’s words. “Fascinating. I was not aware a human would find such a relationship appealing.”

Dr. McCoy could remain silent no longer and retorted, “Well, our captain isn’t just any human.” What Dr. McCoy found so amusing, Spock could not begin to guess, but it was not unusual for the doctor to behave illogically.

Still, Spock found he had to agree, “You are correct, doctor, our captain is remarkable among humans in many ways.”

Spock met the captain’s gaze and the captain smiled back at him, glowing. “What do you make of Mr. Cochrane and his companion, Mr. Spock?”

Spock considered the question for a moment. “I wonder how the companion is adjusting to the removal of its telepathy. It was a purely psychic creature, which is now residing in a psy-null body. I would expect such a change to be disorienting to say the least.”

The captain nodded, though there was still some amusement in his expression that Spock could not explain. The captain glanced back at Dr. McCoy again before he replied, “A reasonable assessment, Mr. Spock. Very logical, of course.”

“Thank you, captain,” Spock replied. The corners of his lips turned upward at the compliment.

* * *

The speaker at the door to Spock’s quarters gave a long, low whistle.

“Come in,” Spock declared. He stood at attention as the door slid open to reveal his mother, Lady Amanda.

She stepped inside and regarded her son with a small smile that would have been startlingly out of place on Vulcan. Her eyes seemed to search his face for something. At last, she said, “I haven’t seen you in sick bay since you were discharged.”

“Until Captain Kirk is fully recovered, it is my duty to act as the captain of the  _ Enterprise, _ ” he said as though that settled the matter.

She sighed. “It’s been four years, Spock, can’t a mother talk to her son?”

Spock quirked an eyebrow at her. “Is there something you would like to discuss?”

“I just want to know how you’re doing, is that a crime?” Amanda insisted.

“If you would like to see my performance review, I am certain the captain would be happy to oblige,” Spock replied. His eyebrows rose almost to challenge her.

“Do you enjoy working in Starfleet?” She asked, undeterred. “I could never tell. You seemed more comfortable after you left Vulcan, but I know that’s not saying much.”

“You ought to know that enjoyment is illogical. I perform my duties, nothing more,” he said.

“Then why stay in Starfleet and not return to Vulcan?” She exclaimed in exasperation.

“I am not needed on Vulcan,” Spock said. “My logic is most needed here, on a starship full of illogical humans.”

She tried another track, “How is working with Captain Kirk? Last time I saw you, you were serving under Captain Pike.”

“Captain Kirk performs his duties most effectively,” Spock acknowledged. “He is very human, however he has succeeded at using his illogic to his advantage, perhaps because he is aware of what is logical, even if he chooses not to behave accordingly.”

For some reason Spock could not begin to fathom, his mother smiled. “Captain Kirk called you his friend,” she remarked.

Spock hesitated. “A human notion,” he said at last.

“I didn’t notice it before,” she said carefully, though her smile remained, “But you’ve changed since I last saw you.”

Spock quirked an eyebrow at her.

“You’re more human,” she said. “And don’t look at me like that,” she exclaimed, “It’s not a dirty word. You’re just as human as you are Vulcan, and I’m glad that Captain Kirk is helping you see it, even if I can’t.”

“I may be half-human by birth,” Spock replied, his voice stiff and expression hard, “But I was raised as a Vulcan and am therefore no more human than my father.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe that.” She hesitated. “You know that captain of yours loves you and I can tell that you love him too, even if you won’t admit it.”

Spock barely missed a beat. “Love is an illogical human emotion, which I am incapable of experiencing.” 

“You are human,” she insisted.

Her son glared at her.

“You admire Captain Kirk despite- even for his illogical human emotions. Why can’t you have them?” She demanded.

“The captain is human. I am Vulcan,” he said.

She sighed. “Just think about it, Spock, please. I don’t like seeing your human and Vulcan natures warring within you. Your father and I get along, don’t we? And isn’t it illogical to deny half of who you are?” She hesitated before finally saying, “Your father would never admit it, but he has emotions too, and so do you. Maybe emotion doesn’t have to be illogical.”

Spock quirked an eyebrow at her, but he seemed to consider the suggestion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, and the second scene in particular, are dedicated to LSPINGLES who requested a conversation between Spock and his parents after Journey to Babel many months ago.
> 
> The first scene starts with The Apple and ends directly after Metamorphosis. The second scene takes place after Journey to Babel.


	4. Contact (Between Two Minds)

The captain helped Spock to his feet and for an instant Spock’s hand brushed the captain’s bare skin. In that instant he was inundated with emotion; a stormy gale of concern rushed through the tiniest point of contact, underlain with disorganized thoughts and incomprehensible feelings. Spock was frozen, his eyes wide with the sheer force of the captain’s mind. He shored up his mental shields as quickly as he could, but by then the contact was gone.

Spock found himself suddenly upright and stumbled to regain his footing.

“Spock, are you alright?” the captain asked urgently.

Spock nodded.

The captain smiled at him as though he saw something remarkable in his first officer. His eyes still betrayed concern, but the mission continued as though nothing had happened.

Spock expected the captain to learn from his mistake. The captain undoubtedly knew Vulcans were a telepathic race, and for all of their secrecy, there were rumors that they could detect a person’s thoughts from any physical contact. The truth was more nuanced, but the last thing Spock expected was for the captain to increase the rate of physical contact between them.

Spock often found the captain standing much closer than was strictly necessary to hear about Spock’s latest readings or to ask him for his opinion on a difficult situation. The captain frequently put a friendly hand on Spock’s shoulder for emphasis or to provide comfort, or for no apparent reason at all. Spock could almost feel the captain’s thoughts wafting through his skin, even though there was a layer of cloth between them.

* * *

Spock stepped into the captain’s quarters and the door slid shut behind him. Captain James Kirk stood before him, as young and strong as ever. His bare torso left no doubt as to his full recovery from the radiation poisoning.

“Dr. McCoy has declared me fit for duty,” Spock announced without preamble.

The captain smiled, and his eyes seemed to light up with a very human intensity. “It’s good to have you back, Mr. Spock.” He stepped toward his first officer, so there were only a few feet between them.

“And you, Captain,” Spock replied, his expression softened. “I also wish to apologize for subjecting you to a competency hearing. I had no choice-”

Captain Kirk rose a hand to stop him and Spock fell silent.

He put his hand on Spock’s shoulder and squeezed it for emphasis. “You have nothing to apologize for, Spock. I was the one who was out of line. I know you wouldn’t do anything like that without a good reason. I just didn’t like the idea of you taking orders from Commodore Stocker.” He gave Spock a wry smile.

“I assure you, Jim, there is no one else I would rather serve under,” Spock replied, his voice low with an undercurrent of emotion.

“I should hope not,” Jim said with a grin. “Though I suppose you’ll be wanting a command of your own one of these days.”

“Hardly, sir.” Spock almost sounded insulted at the suggestion.

Jim smiled like he had gotten the response he had expected. “Good, because I would hate to lose the best first officer in the fleet.” He gave Spock’s shoulder another squeeze for good measure.

Spock quirked an eyebrow at him as though he suspected flattery, but did not protest. Instead, his lips turned upward in a suggestion of a smile.

Jim’s smile widened and his eyes seemed to shine with a mischievous spark, like he was going to do something brilliant and reckless that was just crazy enough to succeed, but Spock could not begin to fathom what - Jim’s greatest ideas were usually beyond the realm of Vulcan logic.

Jim kept a careful eye on Spock’s face as his hand slowly left Spock’s shoulder, ghosted down his arm, and just barely brushed the back of Spock’s hand. Spock’s shields were up, but he could feel the burst of emotion threatening to overwhelm them. Jim’s intense, meaningful expression seemed to invite him in, to suggest that he should succumb to the intriguing waves of human emotion that rushed out of his captain’s cool skin. Spock could only wonder why, but somehow suspected he already knew.

“Fascinating,” he remarked, because that was the only response he could give.

“There are worse things to be than fascinating,” Jim teased, the contact already broken as quickly as it had been made.

Spock nodded in assent. “You are most fascinating,” he said with the barest trace of a smile.

* * *

While transporting up from the surface of a planet, the captain had vanished without a trace. The only answers were negative: no magnetic storms, no ionic interference, no breakdown in equipment.

Dr. McCoy demanded answers and Spock replied,  _ “We shall continue sensor scans, Doctor. At the moment, that is all we can do, except hope for a rational explanation.” _

_ “Hope? I always thought that was a human failing, Mr. Spock,” _ the doctor taunted.

_ “True, Doctor. Constant exposure does result in a certain degree of contamination.” _

 

Captain James Kirk materialized in the Enterprise transporter, followed by Lieutenant Uhura and Ensign Chekov. A whole welcoming committee faded into view, Commander Spock at the head. All Jim could do was grin at the sight of his first officer, watching him so intently. Spock’s eyes narrowed in concern as they flitted over Jim’s chest, no doubt taking in the welts and scars from his time on Triskelion.

Dr. Leonard McCoy rushed to the fore before Spock could speak. “Jim! You’re alright!”

“It’s mighty good to see you,” Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott put in.

Bones continued, “I was worried you wouldn’t make it out alive with that crazy plan of yours, but you did it! I guess Spock was right about where you were after all,” he admitted.

Jim nodded and gave Bones a smile. “The other prisoners should be alright too,” he said.

“Let’s get you to sickbay and you can tell me all about it,” Bones declared. He glanced over Jim’s shoulder at Chekov and Uhura, who stepped down from the transporter pad after the captain. “Nurse,” he ordered, “I want to run all scans, make sure there’s no internal damage, and we’ll need to get out the dermal regenerator. These are some nasty welts, Jim.”

Jim held up a hand to stop him. “First, I want a word with my first officer.” He smiled at Spock over Bones’s shoulder.

“Captain,” Spock began to protest.

“I don’t see why you can’t talk to him after,” Bones insisted.

Jim motioned for silence, cutting them both off. “Spock” - he gestured for Spock to follow him out of the transporter room.

Spock obliged, leaving Bones grumbling in their wake.

“Dr. McCoy is correct,” Spock remarked as they strode down the corridor, “It would be most prudent for you to submit to treatment and medical evaluation to ensure that you were not seriously damaged.”

“I’m alright,” Jim dismissed his concern. “This is more important.”

“What is it, Captain?” Spock asked as they stepped into the captain’s quarters.

The door slid shut behind them.

“It’s Jim, we’re not on duty right now,” the captain said. He reached over his shoulder to pull at the harness he had been given on Triskelion. “I don’t suppose you could help me out of this thing.”

“Sir- Jim?” Spock raised a questioning eyebrow at the captain.

Jim stopped struggling with the harness and leaned an arm against the wall so he was angled toward Spock. He paused just to look at his first officer. Spock’s warm brown eyes were darkened with concern, his eyebrows arched in uncertainty at Jim’s intent, all of the tightly controlled emotion fighting to escape.

“How did you do it?” Jim asked at last. He gave his first officer a smile of pure wonder. “How did you find me all the way out here? I was starting to worry I’d never see the  _ Enterprise _ again.”

“Any transporter, no matter how sophisticated, leaves some form of energy residue. We merely located the anomalous trail and it led us to this system,” Spock replied as efficiently as ever, but the creases on his face told another, more harrowing story.

Jim put a hand on Spock’s shoulder. “That’s another time you’ve saved my life,” Jim said with a grin.

“It is my duty,” Spock said simply, but Jim could almost feel the emotion behind his words.

Jim did not miss how Spock’s eyes wandered over his torso, lingering on the angry red welts, as though he wanted to do something, but could not bring himself to. His hands were locked firmly behind his back.

Jim leaned back a little to give Spock a bit more space, a mischievous smile teasing at his lips.

Spock quirked an uncertain eyebrow at him.

“What was that gesture your parents did?” Jim remarked a little too casually. “Like this” - he held out his right hand, his first two fingers extended toward Spock.

Spock’s eyes widened in open surprise. “Jim,” he nearly whispered, “That is…” he trailed off.

Jim grinned at him. “Only if you want. Regulation clearly states that I can’t give you any orders here.”

Slowly, his hand just barely shaking, Spock extended two fingers and brought them nearly to meet Jim’s so that they were just centimeters apart. He hesitated, and then, very gently, he lowered the tips of his fingers so they brushed against Jim’s. Spock’s skin was warm and the contact sent a jolt down Jim’s spine. Spock’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed green.

Jim couldn’t have looked away even if he wanted to. His heart hammered in his chest and he could only imagine how Spock’s was racing - it usually beat several times faster than a human’s already. He wondered how clearly Spock could sense his thoughts and feelings and wished he could feel some of Spock’s in return. He wanted to reach out for a kiss or a mind meld - he didn’t know which.

Very slowly, Spock pulled his hand away, though their faces remained mere inches apart. Jim could feel Spock’s breath tickling his cheeks. It took all of Jim’s willpower not to kiss him, but his wide smile would have made it hard to kiss anyone anyway.

“Jim,” Spock began, his voice low.

“Yes, Mr. Spock?” Jim asked.

“It is good to have you back, Captain,” Spock said at last. Despite his even expression, Jim could see every indication of a subtle smile.

Jim grinned back at him. “It’s good to be back and to see you again. Now,” he remarked, stretching a hand over his shoulder again, “I don’t suppose you could help me out of this harness.”

Spock gave a sharp nod and circled around behind him. Spock seemed to hesitate there for a moment, before Jim felt warm fingers against his lower back, working their way under the bottom rung of the harness on either side. The cloth strap dug into Jim’s stomach as Spock slowly eased it up his torso, his fingers trailing along Jim’s side. Jim closed his eyes to savor the contact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first scene is essentially a flashback to some point earlier in their relationship (not based on a particular episode). The second scene is after The Deadly Years, and the third is after Gamesters of Triskelion.


	5. Out of Danger

“Bring the shuttlecraft aboard, Mr. Scott,” Captain James Kirk ordered.

As much as he wanted to run down to the shuttle bay and greet his first officer for himself, it was his duty as captain to stay on the bridge and wait patiently for said stubborn,  _ alive _ first officer to come to him.

So, he leaned back in his chair and said, “Mister Chekov, lay in a course for Starbase Six. Ahead warp factor five. I'm still looking forward to a nice period of rest and relaxation on some lovely” - he watched a beautiful yeoman walk by - “planet.”

“Jim,” Dr. Leonard McCoy exclaimed, “What are you waiting for? I’m sure he’s docked by now!”

Jim turned to smile up at Bones. “Right you are.” He didn’t really want to wait, after all. He pushed himself out of the captain’s chair and headed for the lift. “Scotty, you have the con. We may be a while.”

They couldn’t get down to the shuttle bay fast enough as far as Jim was concerned, and Bones seemed to be of a similar mind, hurrying along as he grumbled with a wide grin about how Spock “better not have botched the rest of those tests!”

Spock was already waiting for him, composed and steady as ever - not a single hair out of place - as though he hadn’t just risked his life on some fool mission that had, of course, saved them all. Jim was glad he hadn’t waited. He rushed toward his first officer with a grin and grabbed him by the arms, just far enough away that he could look up into Spock’s eyes and see the telltale cues of a hidden smile all across his face.

“As you can see, Captain, I am quite alright,” Spock said, his voice warm and almost teasing.

“It’s good to see you too,” Bones put in, his voice dripping with good-natured sarcasm.

Spock gave him a nod in greeting.

“Now, what about those readings, Mr. Spock?” Bones asked.

Jim waved him off. “Later.” He offered Spock his other arm and asked with a grin, “Will you accompany me to my quarters?”

“I see how it is,” Bones grumbled, but his smile ruined the effect.

“Certainly, Captain,” Spock replied, and took the proffered arm with an almost smug expression.

Spock let his arm drop as they made their way through the corridors to the captain’s quarters, though Jim kept a hand on Spock’s forearm. When the door to his quarters closed behind them, Jim faced Spock and searched his eyes for permission as he slowly reached out to take Spock’s hand in his own.

Spock inclined his head, only barely, and extended his hand toward Jim, two fingers outstretched. The tips of their fingers brushed together and Jim inhaled sharply at the familiar, yet alien contact. Spock’s eyes fell closed to savor the influx of Jim’s thoughts and emotions.

When their hands separated and he opened his eyes once more, Jim was looking up at him with an open smile that only a human could give, yet which he chose to give to a Vulcan.

“You should not have risked the  _ Enterprise _ on my behalf,” Spock said softly.

Jim’s expression turned unyielding. “I let you go because I knew you’d have a better chance of coming back. I wasn’t about to let you die when I knew we could save you.”

“It could have cost the ship,” Spock began to protest.

Jim cut him off, “But it didn’t. You’re not about to make me regret saving your life.”

Spock nodded in reluctant acknowledgement. “Understood.”

“Good,” Jim said with a wry smile. “Now, I know just the place for shore leave, a veritable Garden of Eden.”

* * *

The planet Neural may have been a Garden of Eden once, but was no longer. Someone was giving the natives weapons, primitive by modern standards, but deadly to peaceful men who had known nothing stronger than a bow and arrow. And Spock had paid the price. Jim stared at him, laid out on the only occupied cot in sick bay. Again, they didn’t know whether he would live or die and there was nothing Jim could do about it.

Jim was tired of his first officer risking his life on his behalf. He was tired of losing him, hoping beyond hope that he would somehow make it out alive - hoping that this would not be the last time. Again, he tried not to wonder what he would do if Spock died, how he could continue to captain without Spock by his side.

He could not just stand there doing nothing. Jim made up his mind.

He turned to Dr. McCoy and declared, “You and I are transporting down.”

 

It was an unmitigated disaster. Even the sound of Spock’s voice, alive and well, was little consolation for what he had done to a once peaceful planet.

“We’re very tired, Mr. Spock,” Jim said into his communicator. “Beam us up home.”

Captain Kirk and Dr. McCoy materialized in the transporter room as Spock stepped through the door.

He assessed the situation with a single sweeping glance and turned to Dr. McCoy. “Is the captain unharmed?”

“Physically,” Dr. McCoy replied. “What about you?”

“My trance was successful, though I did not expect to find that the captain had returned to the planet’s surface.” Spock gave the captain another searching look.

Jim just shook his head.

Spock glanced back at Dr. McCoy who merely gestured toward the captain as though to say, “go ahead.”

Spock stepped toward the captain. Very softly, he said, “Jim, a word?”

Jim nodded. “Sure,” he said. He sounded more tired than he had over the communicator.

So, Spock led the way to the captain’s quarters, where they often found themselves, whether it was at the end of a particularly harrowing mission or for a game of chess after their shift. Jim sat down on the end of his bed and gestured for Spock to join him.

“Something is troubling you,” Spock remarked as he obliged.

Jim leaned against Spock’s shoulder and let out a sigh.

“I can attempt to relieve some of the discomfort,” Spock offered, a hand outstretched in a suggestion of a mind meld.

Jim shook his head into Spock’s shoulder. “It won’t help Tyree or the hill people.”

Spock lowered his hand. He hesitated. “I am sorry that I was not there to help you.”

“I don’t know what you could have done, unless Vulcans happen to be able to turn back time,” Jim said.

“We cannot,” Spock replied. “Were the Klingons responsible?”

Jim nodded. “They were giving the village people weapons - I can’t fathom why - and teaching them how to make them, so we couldn’t just take them away. Maintaining the balance of power was the only option.”

Spock’s eyebrows rose at the suggestion, but he knew better than to tell Jim what he already knew. Instead he said, “At times, it seems it is crueler not to interfere.”

“I don’t know which is crueler,” Jim said with a sigh.

“You said the hill people are peaceful; are you certain they will use the weapons even if we supply them?” Spock asked.

“I made sure of that too,” Jim said bitterly. “Tyree was the most peaceful of them, but when the village people killed his wife all he could think of was revenge. I half hope he won’t actually be able to go through with it, but then I’ll have condemned him to death. Which is worse?”

Slowly, Spock reached his arm around Jim’s back to rest a hand on his shoulder. Jim put his hand on top of it and Spock felt a turbulent rush of emotion; guilt and frustration and a powerful undercurrent of exhaustion. 

“Jim,” Spock murmured, as he waded through Jim’s feelings, “You need rest.”

Jim let out a long sigh and finally nodded in assent.

“Allow me to help,” Spock offered.

Jim waved off the suggestion of a mind meld.

“No,” Spock said, “Not a meld. Your body is as tired as your mind.”

Jim cocked his head to get a better look at him. “Okay,” he said with a shade of a smile, and shrugged off the vest he had been wearing to blend in with the people of Neural.

Spock positioned himself behind Jim and set his warm hands on Jim’s cold shoulders.

Jim sighed and leaned into the touch.

Spock worked his way down Jim’s back, massaging the tension out of each muscle and sending as much calm as he could back through the contact to soothe Jim’s raging emotions. He only stopped as he felt Jim begin to doze.

He helped Jim down, onto his back. Spock watched his chest rise and fall, slow and steady. He was not asleep yet, but it would not be long. Spock tore himself away and turned to leave.

Before he could go, Jim reached out and grabbed his hand. Spock felt a surge of gratitude through the contact.

* * *

Jim could tell that Spock wasn’t happy about the prospect of allowing advanced alien intelligences to claim their bodies, even for a short time. Spock hadn’t protested against it, in fact he had spoken out in favor of the captain’s plan, but he was quieter than usual. And as Jim finally returned to his body, the two surviving aliens dissipating into space, he did not miss Spock standing there, his eyes locked on the ground.

It did not take long for Spock to come to him. Spock was silent, deep in thought, as they walked back from their shift. They stopped in front of the door to the captain’s quarters and Jim was about to wave Spock inside, when he turned to the captain. Their eyes met for the first time since they had returned to themselves. There was something pleading in Spock’s expression, and Jim’s eyes narrowed in concern.

Spock said, his voice almost inaudible, “I nearly cost you your life.”

Jim’s expression hardened. He swept Spock inside, to the privacy of his quarters, and turned to face him. “That wasn’t you and you know it.”

“I could feel his intent when he took over my body, but I could not stop him,” Spock said.

“Of course you couldn’t stop him,” Jim exclaimed with a wave of his arm. “While we were in those orbs, none of us could do anything.”

“I detected something amiss before then, but I did not pay it sufficient heed,” Spock insisted.

Jim put a hand on Spock’s shoulder and gave him a small smile. “We all had misgivings and decided it was worth the risk. None of us had any way of knowing it would go like that. I’m just glad Sargon was able to come up with a plan to stop Henoch without killing you - and that it worked. I wish we could have given them real bodies, but I don’t think even their technology could make something that could really feel.”

“You have done more than enough for them,” Spock said, his voice surprisingly sharp.

Jim’s eyes widened, and then he realized what was going on and gave Spock a smile. “I’m sorry for worrying you.” he said gently.

“To worry would be illogical,” Spock replied, dismissing his apology outright. “I merely intended to remind you that you are essential to the operation of this ship and therefore should not needlessly endanger yourself.”

“You didn’t object to me becoming one with Sargon, then?” Jim pressed his luck a little, his smile turned mischievous.

“It was an unnecessary risk,” Spock said.

“I’ll try to be more careful in the future. I wouldn’t want to make you jealous,” Jim teased. He brushed his hand against Spock’s and tried to convey all of the comfort he could.

Spock quirked an eyebrow at him, even as the corners of his lips turned upward at the contact and the accompanying wave of affection. “Jealousy is illogical.”

“Of course,” Jim answered without missing a beat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm loathe to end a story right after the characters finally become a couple, especially with a whole season and a half left of the show, including the rest of Spock's character arc.  
> The first scene is after The Immunity Syndrome, the second is A Private Little War, and the third is Return to Tomorrow.
> 
> I actually wrote and titled this before watching Wrath of Khan for the first time, so the title is a happy (or perhaps not so happy) coincidence.


	6. The Story of Who You Are

The evidence was conclusive; it would be illogical to deny it.

The relief and happiness Spock had felt when he saw the captain alive and well after Spock thought he had killed him in the throes of  _ pon farr _ could have been a fluke fueled by his waning blood fever. And there was nothing illogical in being pleased that the Enterprise had not lost its highly competent captain. Spock had no such convenient excuse for turning to hope when the captain had vanished without a trace, but as he had succeeded at finding the captain, he had little cause for complaint.

However, his most recent display of emotion was not excused by illness or overshadowed by a successful rescue. He had wasted hours pulling at the bars of their cell to no avail. In a moment of weakness brought on by desperation, Dr. McCoy had even managed to needle him into admitting that he was not immune to emotion. The captain later returned by his own power no worse for the wear, and Spock had done nothing but waste time and energy that could have been better spent.

Upon further inspection, he had been experiencing emotions with increasing frequency and intensity for some time. He had been able to ignore them because they did not interfere with his duties - the captain even encouraged him to develop emotions. But he was not a human, he was a Vulcan, and emotions were not the Vulcan way. He needed to be more careful.

* * *

“Emotions are a liability. I do not understand why humans insist upon defending them,” Spock declared.

He was meeting with the captain in his quarters to debrief after their successful infiltration of the Romulan ship. Thankfully, the captain had been relieved of his pointed ears and slanted eyebrows, and appeared fully human once more.

Jim gave him a soft smile. “They are a liability, maybe even our greatest weakness, but they’re also our greatest strength.”

Spock’s eyebrows rose in disbelief. “The Romulans are an offshoot of my Vulcan ancestors who rejected the teachings of Surak and embraced illogic as humans do, and you see the result - they are brutal and warlike. Emotions certainly have done the Romulan Commander no favors.”

“No, I suppose they haven’t,” Jim acknowledged. “You carried out your mission admirably.”

“I know you intend for that to be a compliment, but I find it difficult to take it as such,” Spock replied, his voice stiff.

“I thought our lovely commander might be playing the same game,” Jim said with a wry smile. “What did she offer you? A place by her side?”

Spock inclined his head.

Jim nodded. “Anything you desire, it’s yours,” he countered.

Spock’s eyebrows rose again in astonishment. He looked affronted. “Have I not already made my allegiance sufficiently clear? Vulcans are not susceptible to bribes.”

Jim gave him a gentle smile. “I know.” He stepped forward and put a hand on Spock’s wrist. “I just also know that sometimes it’s important to be reminded of your value, and I value you very much.” There was a powerful intensity to the captain’s gaze.

“I am aware,” Spock replied, his voice suddenly rough with emotion even though he could feel Jim’s touch only through his sleeve.

“I’m sorry,” Jim said at last, “We should have found another way.”

“It is my duty to serve you and Starfleet to the best of my ability,” Spock replied as though nothing had happened. “However, deception and the use of emotion do go against Vulcan teaching.”

“They go against human teaching too,” Jim acknowledged. “Somehow, it’s just easier for us to ignore it.”

“Yes, I have observed that humans have a tendency to obey only what is convenient to them,” Spock said, though there was something teasing in his eyes and the tilt of his lips.

“We rely on our own judgement,” Jim suggested.

“And at times it is most effective,” Spock said with a nod.

Jim grinned.

* * *

“Now, Mr. Spock,” Dr. McCoy rounded on the Vulcan, “You’d better get some sleep or, with the captain’s permission” - he glanced over at Captain Kirk - “I’ll give you a hypo that will make you go to sleep whether you like it or not!”

“That will not be necessary, Doctor,” Spock retorted. “As I have already attempted to inform you, Vulcans do not require-”

Dr. McCoy cut him off and exclaimed at the captain, “I swear, he hasn’t slept or ate in the whole time you’ve been down here!”

“What?” Kirk demanded with a confused shake of his head, as though Dr. McCoy’s words had jolted him into awareness. “What happened?” He turned to his first officer, his eyes narrowed in concern. “Spock, why haven’t you slept? I’ve been down here for two months.”

“Fifty-eight days, captain,” Spock corrected him.

Kirk gave him a look.

“It was necessary that I decipher the writing on the obelisk before the asteroid reached the planet. It was the only avenue remaining to us to ensure that neither you nor the planet were destroyed,” Spock explained.

Kirk shook his head. He could feel a headache coming on. “Spock, beam back up and get some sleep. Or I’ll order you to sickbay for observation. Once Dr. McCoy says you’re sufficiently rested, then we can talk.”

Spock gave a sharp nod. “Understood.”

 

Captain Kirk stepped through the door into Spock’s quarters to find his first officer sitting on his bed, his legs crossed and his eyes closed in meditation. His eyes slowly opened as the door slid shut.

“Dr. McCoy’s declared you well enough for visitors,” Jim said. He gave Spock a smile, but his expression was subdued.

“I am sorry for the death of your wife,” Spock said with some uncertainty.

Jim let out a sigh. He sat down on the end of the bed, turned so he was still facing Spock. “I don’t know if she was ever really mine. She sacrificed her life for someone who may have never even existed.”

“Kirok was not so different from yourself,” Spock remarked.

Jim shook his head. “I’m sorry, Spock. Deep down, even as Kirok I knew I didn’t belong down there, but I was so desperate to hold on to it I even fought you when you tried to meld with me and bring me back to myself.”

“I did not intend to enter your mind against your will,” Spock said. “It was the only way I knew to return you to yourself and prevent the asteroid from destroying the planet, but I did not know it would be unwelcome.”

Jim reached out to take Spock’s hand, but thought better of it at the last moment and instead extended just his first two fingers in a more reserved offer.

Spock slowly reached out and brushed Jim’s fingers with his own, only lingering an instant to let Jim’s familiar emotions pour into him.

“You made the right choice,” Jim insisted, his eyes fixed on Spock’s. “And you are always welcome in my mind,” he said with a smile.

Spock hesitated. “Your mind is very dynamic. Even so, I do not understand how you cope with all of these emotions.”

Jim put a hand on Spock’s arm and gave him a wry smile. “From what Dr. McCoy’s told me, you haven’t had an easy time of it yourself.”

Spock raised his eyebrows. “I did what was necessary to ensure your survival and prevent the destruction of the planet.”

Jim nodded. “And you succeeded. But I’m sorry I put you through all that.”

“You were incapacitated,” Spock replied. “I did what I could to alter the circumstances, but what occurred was outside of my control. As a Vulcan, I am responsible for my reaction.”

Jim frowned. He hesitated. Spock watched him with those sharp Vulcan eyes, his head cocked to one side.

Finally, Jim asked, “What about as a human?”

Spock straightened his posture, his back rigid. For a moment he made to retort, but did not go through with it. “I do not know,” Spock acknowledged at last. “Emotion appears to be the human way, but as a Vulcan I do not find that satisfactory.”

Jim paused a moment in thought. “Maybe it’s different for a Vulcan, but for us humans, it seems like our emotions are just another thing we can’t control. Maybe all we can be responsible for is how we handle our emotions.”

Spock considered his words, rolled them over in his head. At last, he acknowledged, “Perhaps.” But he did not seem satisfied.

* * *

_ It’s your human half I’m worried about. _

 

Jim paced outside the sick bay door. He had tried to talk sense into Dr. Miranda Jones, tried to make her see her own jealousy in the hope that she could do something, anything to save Spock’s life and rescue him from the madness brought on by the sight of the Medusan ambassador. But maybe he had gone to far; he could have just as easily sentenced Spock to death as saved his life.

“Come on, Jim,” Dr. McCoy cut through his thoughts, “There’s no use in standing here.”

He ushered the captain into his office and pushed him off his feet, into a chair. “Have a drink,” he insisted.

Jim just shook his head.

Suddenly, the door slid open and Spock stumbled inside. Almost too late, Jim ran over and helped Spock into the doctor’s chair.

“I am undamaged,” Spock insisted, as Dr. McCoy waved his medical scanner over him, but he had made no attempt to stand.

“Bones,” Jim called the doctor off and took his place hovering over Spock, a hand on his shoulder. “Spock, How are you doing?”

Spock looked up and met Jim’s eyes. “Doctor Jones succeeded in rescuing me from the madness, though it seemed to be with some difficulty. If you give me a moment, I will be ready to return to duty.”

Jim shook his head before Dr. McCoy could protest. “I want you to rest.” He turned to Dr. McCoy. “Mind if we borrow your office for a bit?”

“Alright, alright, I know when I’m not wanted,” the doctor grumbled good-naturedly, and took his leave.

Jim rounded back on Spock as the door slid shut. He saw his first officer relax into the chair, his exhaustion clear. Jim gave him a smile and brushed Spock’s hand with this own. “You had me worried,” he remarked lightly.

“My apologies, it was careless of me to forget the visor,” Spock replied.

Jim waved off his apology. “Kollos didn’t have any reason to be afraid of seeing himself, I should have been keeping an eye on it. How was the link with Kollos?”

Spock looked away, lost in memory. The corners of his lips turned upward at the thought. “It was fascinating,” he replied, turning back to the captain. “I would almost call his mind logical, but he was not without emotion - far from it. In some ways his mind was not so different from yours.” He looked at Jim as though he was seeing him for the first time, his eyes wide with what for him was open affection.

“And then there was the mind of Dr. Jones,” Spock continued, “Who was restrained as any Vulcan, but warped with jealousy.”

“That’s another human vice you seem to have gotten away without,” Jim said with a wry grin.

Spock nodded. “Fortunately so.” He hesitated. “There was something familiar in Kollos’s mind. Like you, he is very open in his affections, but there was something even more familiar in how he regards Dr. Jones. I believe a human would call it love.” He sounded uncertain about the assertion.

“Like Cochrane and his companion?” Jim suggested before he could stop himself.

Spock nodded again. “That would be a reasonable analogy. Two very different beings brought together by common regard.” He hesitated again. “Vulcans primarily communicate with thought rather than words. That is especially so for young children interacting with family members. Vulcans are, of course, trained in mental shielding, so adults, at least, only communicate what they intend to convey. However” - his eyes narrowed in thought - “I have a distant memory of an early meld with my father, where I received an impression of his regard for my mother which was not dissimilar from Kollos’s regard for Dr. Jones, though it was many orders of magnitude more subdued.”

Jim watched Spock, eagerly waiting for him to continue.

Finally, Spock said very carefully, “I believe my own regard for you is also analogous to what I saw in Kollos.”

A wide smile spread across Jim’s face unbidden. He could not help but tease, “An emotional regard?”

Spock hesitated, but a trace of a smile lingered on his lips. “Perhaps. I know it is unbecoming of a Vulcan.”

“But you are also human,” Jim insisted, placing a hand on Spock’s.

Spock nodded. “It is illogical to deny the truth.”

“And what about the loneliness, the separation Kollos spoke of - did you also find that familiar?” Jim asked. He squeezed Spock’s hand.

Spock’s eyebrows rose in thought. “Familiar yes, but surprisingly absent.”

“Good,” Jim said with a grin. “Then I’m doing my job right.”

“Yes, you are most accomplished,” Spock acknowledged. He turned his hand over and offered Jim his first two fingers, which Jim eagerly accepted and reciprocated in kind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew that something had to happen before Spock acknowledged his emotions and said, "They forget I am half human" in Spectre of the Gun. The episodes leading up to it didn't disappoint, though I had to fill in the gaps a little myself.
> 
> The first scene is Spock reflecting after the events of Bread and Circuses. He thinks about the times he expressed emotions in Amok Time and The Gamesters of Triskelion. The second scene is after The Enterprise Incident and the third is after The Paradise Syndrome. The fourth is toward the end of Is There In Truth No Beauty, which is the episode immediately preceding Spectre of the Gun.


	7. The Adventure Continues

_ “May I say that I have not thoroughly enjoyed serving with humans. I find their illogic and foolish emotions a constant irritant.” _

 

Spock stepped into the captain’s quarters.

He found Captain Kirk sitting at his desk, wrapping up a log entry: “With the energy-being gone, hostilities have ended and the ship is back under our control. We are now bringing the Klingons back to Starbase 5, and from there they can return to their Empire. In the meantime they remain on the  _ Enterprise _ as our guests.” He turned off the recorder, waved Spock inside with a grin, and stood to meet him.

“Jim,” Spock said, his voice low, “I must apologize for lashing out earlier. I should have been able to resist the creature’s influence, but it was able to find and exploit my weakness.”

Jim put a hand on Spock’s shoulder and looked Spock firmly in the eye. “It exploited all of us.”

“All but one,” Spock replied, his eyes wide in admiration. “You were apparently immune.”

Jim shook his head. “I was able to resist it thanks to you, I think, but for a moment there I wanted to kill you so badly it terrified me.” There was silence as his words sunk in.

Very slowly, Spock rose one hand and placed it on Jim’s shoulder. “And for that, I am sorry. None of what I said under its influence is true. I am fascinated, not irritated by your illogic and emotions, foolish though they may sometimes be.” He hesitated. “And I have enjoyed serving on the  _ Enterprise _ .”

“Good,” Jim said with a wide smile. “I’m glad we don’t irritate you too badly.”

“Hardly,” Spock replied. “I find I much prefer serving among humans to living among Vulcans.”

* * *

_ “We must accept the fact that Captain Kirk is no longer alive... I shall not attempt to voice the quality of respect and admiration which Captain Kirk commanded. Each of you must evaluate the loss in the privacy of your own thoughts.” _

 

“Spock to transporter, has the captain successfully been beamed aboard? Spock to transporter, I repeat-”

Dr. McCoy hit the button to turn on the intercom with the side of his fist. “We’ve got him, and just in time too! It looks like he’s gonna be alright.”

“Good,” Spock replied. “Keep me updated on his condition-”

“Spock!” Captain Kirk exclaimed into the intercom, leaning heavily on Dr. McCoy, while Nurse Chapel hovered at his other shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”

Spock quirked an eyebrow even though none of them could see. “I was doing nothing of the sort,” he said, though a suggestion of a smile threatened to ruin the effect.

Kirk grinned back at him. “Bones is just going to run some tests to make sure I haven’t sustained any damage.”

“And maybe you’ll appreciate the drink I mixed up more than your first officer did,” Dr. McCoy cut in.

Spock ignored Dr. McCoy. “Understood. Spock out.”

 

Captain Kirk waved Mr. Spock into his quarters after their shift. He half-sat, half-leaned against his desk, his arms crossed over his chest. He and Spock watched each other, each evaluating the other’s condition and waiting for him to make the first move.

Finally, Jim spoke gently, “What happened while I was gone?”

“You heard my official account in the log,” Spock said.

“I understand Bones pretending nothing happened, but why you?” Jim asked, perplexed. He searched Spock’s eyes for an answer.

“I believe humans would consider it an expression of goodwill,” Spock explained.

Jim nodded in understanding, but did not relent. “So what happened?”

Spock hesitated. “I am honored by your professed faith in me, however I am afraid it is not deserved.”

“Spock,” Jim exclaimed in protest, a hand on Spock's shoulder.

Spock did not meet his captain's eyes. When he spoke, his voice was so low it was barely audible, “I was emotionally compromised.” He looked up and continued a little louder, “I stayed in the fragmented space even though I knew it was killing the crew because I hoped I would I be able to find you alive. When the Tholian ship attacked, I fired without thinking of the consequences. Dr. McCoy was correct to question my judgement.” His eyebrows rose to emphasize his words.

Jim frowned. “Bones is a good friend, but I know he goes too far with you sometimes. As I said in the orders you didn’t watch” - he gave Spock a wry smile - “He can give good advice, but at the end of the day you’re in command. Staying in the fragmented space was a risky decision, but I probably would have done the same thing if our roles were reversed, and it turned out alright. I hear Chekov had a bad time of it, but at the end of the day everyone was okay, and I, for one, am glad you rescued me.”

Then he hesitated. “I don’t think I’ve ever been anywhere so lonely before. If I was drifting out in space at least there would have been the stars, but there was nothing, just darkness. I think I would have gone mad if I didn’t suffocate first.”

“Jim,” Spock said softly, his eyes wide. He reached out a hand to comfort the captain, but didn’t know what to do with it.

Jim met Spock’s gaze and carefully took Spock’s outstretched hand in his own. “I know, I’m not alone any more, thanks to you.”

Spock felt the rush of Jim’s emotions; his relief and affection and vibrant joy that were all reflected in his bright hazel eyes. “Jim,” was all he could think to say - there was so much Spock still didn’t have the words for.

Spock felt a spark of mischief before Jim grinned and spoke, “Why don’t you stay the night? I wouldn’t mind the company.”

Spock quirked an eyebrow at him. “If you are suggesting-” he began.

Jim interrupted with a shake of his head. “Just that you keep me company - for emotional security.”

Spock searched Jim’s expression as though appraising it. He did not reach deeper into Jim’s mind, even though he wondered what the captain was thinking. “Very well,” he said at last with a nod.

Spock left to gather his belongings, and soon returned to find the captain already in bed, shirtless, of course, reading the latest in the endless stream of reports that required his attention and approval. He glanced up as soon as the door slid open and smiled up at Spock, whose eyebrows rose at the sight of the captain still working.

“Just keeping occupied while I waited.” Jim put the reports aside. “I know, I need rest, doctor’s orders.”

“Dr. McCoy is quite right on that account,” Spock replied, not without some skepticism.

“I’m not the only one who’s had a stressful day,” Jim pointed out.

Spock nodded in acknowledgement and went to the bathroom to change. The ship was not so warm that even a young Vulcan could comfortably sleep in minimal clothing as humans did. It was probably for the best; brief contact was one thing, but spending the entire night with their minds touching would be another entirely - and humans  _ dreamed _ .

Spock emerged from the bathroom and Jim watched him intently with an open smile as he made his way over to the bed. Jim shifted over a couple of inches to make room for Spock. He waited patiently as Spock hesitated before finally joining him under the covers. Spock lay flat on his back and Jim molded himself around him.

“Thank you,” Jim whispered as the lights faded to one percent. Spock could feel the human’s warm breath against his cheek.

* * *

_ “I might have seriously injured you, Captain, even killed you. They have evoked such great hatred in me, I cannot allow it to go further. I must master it. I must control…” Spock gripped a ceramic goblet so tightly it crumbled into rubble. _

 

Captain Kirk arrived on the bridge with Alexander - the man they had rescued from the Platonians - concluding their tour of the ship.

“Alexander,” the captain said, once his guest had a chance to look around, marveling at their very alien technology, “I have some business to attend to” - he glanced up at Mr. Spock, dutifully bent over his viewscreen at his station - “But you’ll be left in Scotty’s very capable hands.”

Mr. Scott stepped over to them. “Aye, sir.”

“Alexander is to be treated as an honored guest. Without him, we might very well still be at the mercy of the Platonians.” The captain turned to Spock. “Mr. Spock, a word?”

Spock stood up straight and gave the captain a sharp nod. Kirk waved him off the bridge and onto the turbo lift.

“Detect anything interesting?” Kirk asked as they tread the familiar path back to the captain’s quarters.

“No,” Spock replied, “Just routine observations.”

Kirk grinned at him.

They said little more until they were behind closed doors. They stopped in the middle of Jim’s room, standing hardly a foot apart. Before either could speak, Jim extended a hand to Spock, his first two fingers out. Spock mirrored the gestured and brushed Jim’s fingers with his own, letting the captain’s emotions wash over him.

“You are unharmed?” Spock asked, his voice low.

Jim nodded. “What about you? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so angry.”

Spock inclined his head in acknowledgement. His eyes lingered on the floor and he seemed to war within himself. At last, he looked up and met Jim’s eyes. With some difficulty, he said, “I could have killed you.”

“ _ They _ could have killed either of us,” Jim insisted. He put a hand on Spock’s shoulder.

Spock hesitated. “I know I was not acting under my own power, but I still feel the associated guilt - and anger.”

Jim nodded in understanding, unable to keep himself from smiling a little. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not very logical, but it is human.”

Spock inclined his head again. “It appears I am becoming increasingly human, for better or for ill.”

Jim’s smile spread across his face and shone in his eyes. “You’ve always been human, and it doesn’t make you any less vulcan.”

Spock’s eyebrows rose in disbelief. “The population of Vulcan would be inclined to disagree.”

“They don’t know what they’re missing.” Jim put both his hands on Spock’s upper arms. “Not that I’m too disappointed - their loss is my gain, after all. If you hadn’t left Vulcan, I wouldn’t have the best man in the fleet.” Jim thought he saw Spock’s cheeks turn a little greener than usual.

“At times I find that you are prone to exaggeration, Captain,” Spock attempted to protest, but the feeling resonating in his voice gave him away.

“Am I?” Jim challenged. He scrunched his forehead and shifted his eyebrows in a poor imitation his first officer.

Spock quirked an eyebrow at him in response.

“Why don’t you see for yourself.” One of Jim’s hands wandered down Spock’s arm, to stop at his wrist, just before his sleeve gave way to skin.

Jim gave Spock a questioning glance, and Spock’s eyes widened a little, inviting him to go ahead. So, Jim took Spock’s hand in his and raised it toward his face, his intention clear. Spock closed the distance, resting his warm fingers on Jim’s psy points. Their minds came together without any need for the traditional litany and they were each bathed in the other’s presence.

* * *

“ _ A very old and lonely man. And a young and lonely man. We put on a pretty poor show, didn't we? _ ”

 

Spock pressed his fingers to the captain’s temple and splayed them out along the side of his face. “Forget,” he murmured.

Their minds crashed together without another thought and Spock was overcome by a wave of guilt and grief:  _ I’m sorry, I should have known better. I killed her. It’s my fault. I ignored your warning. I was so angry, so jealous, so desperate. I was everything he said I was; selfish, brutal, savage, cruel. I was no better than he was. All I wanted was for her to be free. I didn’t know. I pushed too hard. It’s my fault. I tried to make her love me and it killed her. I killed her. She’s dead. I killed her. She’s dead because I loved her. _

The thoughts of love and death cycled on and on in an endless vortex, dragging Spock deeper and deeper with them.

His mind cried out and answered with anguish of his own. He could not bear to see his captain, to see  _ Jim _ in such agony, and his own helplessness threatened to consume him, as though Jim was dying on a distant planet and he was stuck on the  _ Enterprise _ , light years away. He knew the misery of love though Dr. McCoy had so easily dismissed the possibility.

“Jim,” he heard himself croak.

Like a strike of lightning, the sound seemed to illuminate Jim’s mind for an instant. Spock grabbed onto the sudden clarity with all his might. He knew what he needed to do. He quieted his emotions as he had done all his life and answered the onslaught of Jim’s anguish with logic.

_ What’s done is done. It cannot be helped. It is not logical to linger- _

Jim’s mind revolted against Spock’s cold logic with powerful emotion that threatened to throw Spock out of the meld by sheer force of will. Jim’s very identity seemed to war against Spock’s mind and he recoiled at the rejection, but he did not give up.

He merely needed to try something different. If not logic, then emotion, as ill versed as he was in its ways.

Confident reassurance came easiest, to quiet Jim’s raging mind. The ship was at peace. Their crew was safe. They were free to explore the galaxy.

The torrent of emotion subsided, but the undercurrent of guilt and self-loathing remained, threatening to pull Spock into the heart of the storm all the same.

So, he answered with admiration, with every impossible victory and human virtue the captain had.  _ Rayna’s death was not your fault. You could not have known _ . It was easy for someone like Jim, to whom human emotion came so naturally, to forget that it would be difficult for an android unaccustomed to such emotion to handle the powerful force of love.

_ Love _ . Spock slowly lowered his mental shields to allow just a portion of all the overwhelming emotion he felt for the captain. Everything illogical and irrational he did and felt, but could not bring himself to regret.

_ You are not alone. _

Spock slowly pulled out of the meld and drew his hand away from Jim’s face.

Jim’s bright hazel eyes met his, and Jim threw his arms around Spock’s torso. Jim buried his face in Spock shoulder and squeezed Spock against him.

Spock remained still as though frozen, uncertain how to respond, but unwilling to pull away. He felt Jim’s heart beating fast in his chest and could hear his unsteady breath.

“Thank you, Spock,” Jim said at last. He leaned away just enough to look Spock firmly in the eye. “You’re right, I’m not alone, and nor are you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first scene is set after Day of the Dove, the second is after The Tholian Web, the third is after Plato's Stepchildren, and the fourth is after Requiem for Methuselah.
> 
> And with that, we come to the end of The Original Series! Thank you very much to everyone who stuck with me until the end! I would especially like to thank everyone who left Kudos or commented!  
> Now, all that's left are some outtakes (coming next week).


	8. Bonus: Outtakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are some additional short scenes that occurred to me as I was rewatching The Original Series. They didn’t really work as part of the larger story - I don’t consider any of them to be in continuity - but I thought I might as well share them.

“I want the latest readings, Sweetheart, and make it snappy,” Captain Kirk declared from the helm in an attempt at an old Chicago accent.

Several members of the bridge turned to look at the captain in varying states of amusement and exasperation, but Commander Spock did not budge.

“Spock, baby, those readings,” the captain insisted with a teasing lilt.

No longer able to deny that he was the intended target of the captain’s orders, Spock replied without looking up from his station, his voice clipped, “All readings normal, sir.”

 

When their shift was over, the captain and his first officer left the bridge together, still talking about their next destination. When they arrived at the door to Jim’s quarters, he waved Spock inside.

“You know,” Jim remarked at a lull in the conversation, “On Earth, ‘sweetheart’ is used as a term of endearment.”

“You intended to endear Mr. Scott when you contacted him from Sigma Iotia II?” Spock inquired.

Jim gave him a look. “I was just trying to blend in with the locals, but I can call you ‘sweetheart’ if you like.” A wide grin spread across his face.

“My apologies,” Spock said, “But I do not find it particularly endearing.”

“Oh well,” Jim said, though he didn’t look too terribly disappointed. “Do Vulcans have any terms of endearment or is that another illogical human quirk?”

Spock cocked his head to the side and seemed to consider the question. “There is nothing a Vulcan would describe as such, but the practice is not a uniquely human one.”

Jim watched Spock eagerly, waiting for him to continue, but he said no more on the subject.

* * *

“My inhuman appearance has been a significant hindrance on several of our recent missions,” Spock remarked, moving another piece across the chess board.

Jim stopped, a hand already outstretched to make his next move. He looked up from the board and met Spock’s eyes. “You are the most valuable officer on this ship - not just your Vulcan half and not just your human half, both of them together - and don’t you forget it.” Jim left no room for argument.

Spock quirked a skeptical eyebrow at him. “If I did not know better, I would suspect you of attempting to employ flattery, Captain.”

Jim grinned at him. “Is it working?”

Spock’s eyebrow rose even higher, but a smile teased at the corners of his lips. “You should know that Vulcans are immune to flattery.”

Jim nodded. “Of course. Then they must also be immune to insult.”

“Obviously,” Spock replied.

“Good,” Jim said. “I was starting to think that everyone insulting those lovely ears of yours was starting to get to you, but clearly I have nothing to worry about.”

A green tinge crept into the tips of Spock’s ears.

* * *

_ “As I was saying,”  _ Spock continued, after a rude interruption from Dr. McCoy, _ “A fascinating cultural development of the kind which hasn't been seen in ages. The last such occurrence took place on old Earth, when the Romans were warring with the-” _

Spock was rarely so talkative, not that Jim could blame him after having his consciousness confined in a black box. Still, they had to get back to their ship before anyone else had their brain removed, and so, on a reckless impulse, Jim cut Spock off mid-sentence with a kiss on the lips.

Spock’s eyes widened in surprise and he remained dumbfounded as Jim pulled away with a wide smile.

“You were saying, Mr. Spock?” Jim asked with teasing innocence.

Spock merely raised an eyebrow at him, still at a loss for words.

* * *

“Will you sign this, sir?” A yeoman approached the captain’s chair, a padd in hand.

While she was still a few feet away, Captain Kirk held out a hand as though to catch it in mid air. His brow creased in concentration and the padd slowly rose out of the yeoman’s grasp and into the captain’s waiting hand.

Her eyes widened in shock.

The captain merely grinned and glanced over at Mr. Spock, who was watching him from the science station. The Vulcan gave a sharp, silent sigh of exasperation.

Kirk leaned toward his first officer over the arm of his chair and teased, “Has your dose worn off already?”

“No. I believe I am still capable of telekinesis, I merely see no reason to use it at present,” he retorted.

“Oh, come on, Mr. Spock, won’t you show us what you’ve got?” Uhura encouraged him.

Spock held fast. “Our induced capacity for telekinesis has served its purpose. I see no reason to flaunt an ability that I only have as a result of a chemical injection that will soon wear off.”

She wasn’t going to be dissuaded that easily. “You’re not going to have a little fun with it first?”

Spock’s eyebrows rose in incredulity and he turned back around toward his station.

But Kirk and Uhura exchanged a glance as they noticed the switches and dials around Spock apparently moving of their own accord as he worked.

* * *

Kirk followed Spock out of the cell where Captain Garth was keeping him and into the control room of the asylum.

“The forcefield is off now, Captain,” Spock declared as he flipped a switch on the panel.

It was then that Kirk’s vague suspicions congealed into something more solid. It had all been too easy, and Garth, after all, was a shapeshifter. He held up his phaser, pointed at the man who was probably not his first officer.

Spock quirked an eyebrow at him.

“A clever disguise,” Kirk remarked, “But when we’re alone Spock always calls me ‘Jim.’”

Spock’s expression fell much more dramatically than a Vulcan’s usually could and he transformed back into a smiling Captain Garth. “I didn’t know you and your first officer were so close,” he said, his eyes wide in mocking disbelief.

Kirk grinned and shook his head. “Not when we’re on duty, but it was nice of you to fall for it.” He pulled the trigger of the phaser, but nothing happened.

“Blast away, Captain, if you can,” Garth taunted. “Do you think I'm fool enough to give you a charged phaser?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first scene is after A Piece of the Action. The second is in response to Patterns of Force and The Omega Glory and possibly other episodes around then where Spock's ears posed a bit of a problem. The third scene is at the end of Spock's Brain. The fourth is an alternative, sillier aftermath to Plato's Stepchildren. The fifth is another way a scene in the middle of Whom Gods Destroy could have gone (and is a beat for beat recreation of a similar scene in Fullmetal Alchemist).
> 
> And with that, A Crazy Little Thing Called Love draws to a close. Thank you to everyone who stayed with it until the end!  
> The sequel, Aging With Mistakes, which follows the subsequent movies, has begun!


End file.
